Thursday, July 31, 2008

My Name is Chadsworth, I Am an Elitist

As I noted below, an intervention was staged by Marvelle and Dean Bumble. I was at the tennis club just getting a rub down when they appeared and said, "Put on your clothes and bring whatever medications you need." I had no idea what was up. I have had ups and downs with Marvelle and Dean Bumble but I thought they meant we were just going for drinks.

Wow was I wrong! After about an hour drive we arrived at GreyStern: Visas for Better Vistas. They referred it as a "treatment facility." Another name might be a deprograming center or even a prison.

My clothes were taken -- all cotton, wool and silk -- and replaced by tagless overalls and a polyester t-shirt. I resisted but you may recall that Marvelle is in possession of certain photographs that could be a problem. So I went along.

By 6 PM I was fully checked in and went to dinner with the other "guests." Dinner was cafeteria style and afterward you scrubbed your own plate. The came the first meeting.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Back and a Better Person

If you have followed any of this you know I am a privileged law professor living and teaching in Iveyville. Over the last year or so I have made a case for privileged people like myself to take back their birthright. We went to Harvard and Yale because we are smarter, better bred and most of the time more attractive than, well, virtually anyone else.

I have had some problems. I was saddled with showing Senator Faceworth around campus. He turned out to be a terrible womanizer with an insatiable demand for young Jennefirs. The results were disasterous when his Monkey Business was revealed.

My wife of my best friend accused me of making improper advances against her even though I thought it was the other way around.

As revenge, Marvelle (that was her name and I am not kidding) took some embarrassing photos of me -- maybe shopping at Old Navy or something like that -- and blackmailed me. I was required to shop at WalMart on a Friday night and attend a Hank Williams Jr. concert. I suppose my reaction to these horrors was insufficient and Marvelle and the Dean at my Law School, Dean Bumble staged an intervention and for the past two months I have been in an elitist deprograming center. Coupon Coupon